Is there anyone who doesn’t yet know that life is a journey? Rabbi Alvin Fine (1937-1999) popularized the idea with his exceptional poem by that name, but the idea has pedigree, going back, it is said, to Ralph Waldo Emerson, who, however, said only something like that, although a Methodist theologian (Lynn Hough, 1877-1971) interpreted Emerson that way in a 1920 Sunday school lesson, and from the Methodist Hough to the Jewish Fine is not itself a bad journey, come to think of it.
For most of history, journeys happened over roads, so “Life as a Road” is another common metaphor: as in Disney’s Anastasia (“Life is a road and I wanna keep goin’”).
I think about this sort of thing every year as the High Holy Days approach, and I hate to say it, but none of my examples so far – not Fine, not Emerson/Hough, and certainly not Disney — tell the whole truth. They romanticize life too much, make it seem like a five-part Netflix series: a moving tale about overcoming the challenges along life’s way, because it’s not the destination but the journey that counts.
Well, maybe, but I get a more realistic image from Mark Twain (The Gilded Age) who describes “a not very well defined road, which did not seem to know its own mind exactly, and, after straggling through the town, wandered off over the rolling prairie in an uncertain way, as if it had started for nowhere and was quite likely to reach its destination.”
That is the real way in which life is a road. We can pretend all we want that life is responsive to the rules of rational choice, but if we look back honestly, we will probably admit that Like Mark Twain’s road, life seems frequently “not to know its own mind,” then to “straggle” through stages and even “wander off … in an uncertain way.”
That is my experience, anyway. As much as I look back to find a pattern, I confess to life being largely the product of chance: being in the right (or wrong) place at the right (or wrong) time; the people I met (or didn’t). How is it that I managed to grow up in an economic boom, not a bust? In Canada, just after World War II, not in Lublin, Berlin, or Minsk, just a decade earlier? I never had a long-term plan to become an expert liturgist (which I had never heard of until I practically already was one).
Then too, there is the way “the road had started for nowhere and was quite likely to reach its destination.” I first read that line as Mark Twain had intended it: it’s just plain funny! With life in mind, however, I stopped laughing. Life too starts for nowhere and inevitably (not just “quite likely”) gets there in the end – the nowhere of our death. In our last moments, we may think back to how we planned on getting to one “somewhere” after another; how luck, good and bad, got us to a variety of “somewhere elses”; and how we are finally running out of any “somewhere” to be, because however long our body may still hang around, the “I”, the “me”, the “person,” who now barely inhabits that body, is about to exit time and space – and be “nowhere.” It doesn’t take the Talmud for us to know it; but the Talmud does say it. We will die against our will, and among the things we cannot know, the one at the very top of the list is the day that death will find us (Avot 4:29, Pes. 54b) – and we will be “nowhere.”
The High Holy Days are nothing, if not a sustained confirmation of life’s tenuous uncertainty. I don’t especially like that confirmation: who would? But serious religion raises serious reflections, and in the end, I am always glad to have spent Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur on more solemn fare than watching the US Open or finding another good restaurant in which to while away an evening.
I know the High Holy Day prayer books very well – I have helped edit more than one – and I confess that they are massive, crowded with verbiage, and full of imagery that no longer resonates with us. Indeed, the liturgy is so impenetrable at times, that it’s easy to get lost in the prayers without actually praying. Here’s one of the things I do to extricate myself from spiritual disaster.
I try each year to find just one single prayer that promises to touch my life. For a while, I linger there, while everyone else is moving on. I eventually catch up, but I remember my prayer’s page number so I can return to it, when other prayers lose or bore me. This year, as I ponder life being a road that wanders (we know not where) and then ends in “nowhere” (we know not when), I suspect that I will stop at a prayer called Hayom, “Today,” because however tenuous my tomorrows may be, my todays are present and real.
Today, strengthen us,
Today bless us,
Today, exalt us,
Today, show us kindness.
Today, inscribe us for a good life.
Our “todays” are destinations along the road; and life is just as much each daily destination as it is the road or journey through them. “Todays” are also mysteries, chance meeting points in time and intersections in space, where different people’s life trajectories miraculously coalesce, as if, for today, we have all stopped together for the same red light. By tomorrow the light will change and we will go our separate ways. Who knows where the people I meet today are going? Who knows what they are going through? For some, today is non-stop brilliant sunshine and bluebirds of happiness. For others today is physical or mental misery that feels like torture.
Hence this year’s prayer choice: “Today.” We spend too much time plotting a path to the tomorrows that we cannot control; too little time harvesting our todays that are actually upon us. It is not nothing, each and every day, to have feel strength enough to go on; and to carry others whose strength is temporarily spent; to realize that we are blessed and to share the blessing amply; to feel exaltation and to lift up those who are ground down; and both to give and to receive as much kindness and goodness as our soul can find.
“Today,” we pray, may we know all this, not just the “today” of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, but all our “todays,” for the “todays” are all we have.
